wat bout pragnant strippers??
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So many bounce houses so little time
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
