doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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