I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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