Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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