Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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