I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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