Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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