You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
