I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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