I cockslap morals
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
