You just made me feel so damn special
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize