Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
