he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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