He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
