He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
