Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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