There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
