i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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