Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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