she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
