did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
