i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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