32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize