My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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