would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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