Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize