Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
