dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I love having hate sex.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
