Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
