My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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