Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
