doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
