He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
