just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
