i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
