I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
