Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
