Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
