elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
