u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
