if i can run in heels then i can drive
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
