this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
