update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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