Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
