I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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