he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
