I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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