So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
