dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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