This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
