You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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