we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize