You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
