Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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