Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
