Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
