dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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