Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
