So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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