I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
