they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
