Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
