I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
