I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
