I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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