New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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