you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
