She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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