I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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