Will you blow on my dice?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
