We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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