she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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