If that was your dad, he is hot
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize