I just saw a hot homeless man
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
